Why Fantasies Are Good For Your Health

    What do you fantasise about? Being whisked off your feet, winning the lottery or telling someone exactly what you think of them? Many of us are constantly suppressing distracting thoughts - what we'd like to say to our boss, howwe'd like a job or relationship to turn out. But if you're constantly pushing those daydreams to the back of your mind, stop. Because psychologists say that if you learn to harness your fantasies they can boost your emotional health.
    'Imagination is your brain's most powerful tool,' says Tony Buzan, an international expert on how to use the power of your mind and the author of Head Strong . 'Every great thinker, athlete and individual has been guided by a vision of what their life goal was and followed that vision. If you don't believe in the power of imagination, check what happens when you fantasise about something delightful, sexual or tragic - your mind unleashes a host of chemicals and hormones that make you feel happy, excited or fearful, depending on what you think.'
    'Fantasies are a great stress reliever,' says Gael Lindenfield, a psychotherapist and the author of Self Esteem. 'People who have had relationship bust-ups fantasise about all the things they'd like to do to their exes, and just thinking about them provides an emotional release. Fantasies also allow us to hold a rehearsal for life - imagining a situation before it occurs allows us to prepare ourselves for it. Innovative people tend to fantasise a lot - when you need to make changes it's a very important way to come up with new ideas.'

creative daydreaming

    Merri Mayers, the entrepreneur behind natural beauty products company Comfort & Joy, says she uses 'creative daydreaming' to come up with new products. She also does 'fantasy market research' where she imagines her clients using her products and loving them and says it helps her come up with winners and pre-empt any pitfalls. Tor me, imagining a successful outcome to a project goes a long way towards assuring it happens,' she says.
    Athletes often use fantasy (or 'creative visualisation' as sports psychologists prefer to call it) to prepare for events - they rehearse feeling calm and see themselves winning the race. Buzan coaches Olympic athletes and says, 'as much as 80 per cent of my time is spent coaching athletes' imagination. Swimmers use techniques such as fantasising about being chased by a shark during their final length. Because imagination affects physical responses, the better a swimmer can imagine that, the faster they'll swim.'
    'What if?' fantasies - the ones where you wonder what would have happened if you'd been more prepared for that job interview or less defensive in that personal fight - are also a good way for us to correct our performance in future.

revenge fantasies

    But what if you dream of things that you would never do - like taking revenge? Negative fantasies are usually a sign of emotions you may want to deny. 'Frequently, when we think we're heartbroken, we're actually livid,' says Lindenfield. 'Revenge fantasies are just trying to tell you that you're angry. Until you're honest about how you're feeling, you can't do anything to improve things. I get women to start imagining what they'd like to do to people and to go to extremes with it, have a bit of fun. Once they've got to the stage where they admit they wish their mother-in-law was impaled on a garden fence, we can start making changes.'
    Camilla Malone, 29, a PA, used a 'negative' fantasy - one of Superman throwing her bullying boss out of the window - to positive ends. 'I felt filled with powerful vibes from this fantasy,' she says. 'I felt invincible - and after a while he sensed it and backed off.'

feel the power

    'Your brain is the master puppeteer of all the chemicals and hormones that are fed into your body,' says Buzan. 'In sexual fantasies, for example, people become very physically aroused through thought. By imagining things turning out well you can also drench your body in the feel-good chemicals you get when you're happy.'
    To try to avert depression, Buzan advises doing a reality check of the situation that is making you sad and then looking for what's good in your life. 'Don't deny what's bad,' he says, 'but look at the friends you love and who love you and start fantasising about all the good things that could happen in your future that are real possibilities.'

bad dreams

    Fantasies are not always healthy, however. If you're obsessing about apologies that may never come, or channelling more energy into dreams than real life, watch out. 'Human beings should be moving on and developing,' says Lindenfield. 'If you're stuck in unhealed feelings then the fantasy is not working.'
    Cathy Jones, 33, an estate agent, had a fantasy for years about receiving an apology from an ex who'd left her when her father died. 'At first,' she says, 'I wished my misfortune on him so he'd understand what it was like. Then I started daydreaming about him saying sorry that he was unsupportive. The fantasy was necessary at first to make a horrible situation OK - he'd let me down and the dream apology made me feel better. I;34ut ultimately it allowed me to gloss over how hurt I was and let me live in denial, maintaining that he was this fantastic person and that we'd get back together. In fact, I needed to realise that he couldn't give me what I needed, and then move on.'
    Fantasies may emotionally buffer reality to the extent that you don't actually do anything to change your life. 'Use fantasies to create your new life rather than avoid your old one,' says life coach Michael Myerscough. `If you keep dreaming, do something about it.'
    'Winning £9 million is a very useful fantasy to help you get your dreams on the table,' says Fiona Harrold, author of Be Your Own Life Coach, 'as it makes you own up to what you really want.' Once you've worked out what you want, think: how can I live more like that now? How can I change things? And if it really is money that you want (not the freedom to do something different), then start generating a couple of money-spinning ideas.

turn wishes into reality

    The experts all maintain that you can alter your brain's wiring - and what happens in reality - by fantasising regularly. 'You need to programme your brain, not just daydream at the bus stop,' says Lindenfield. 'Repeat fantasies over and over until your brain thinks you've actually been in that situation. Do it in a deeply relaxed state and you can actually change some of your brain's wiring.'
    Myerscough agrees, advising that you 'turn up the volume' on your fantasies — the colour, sound, sensations — until you feel as if you're actually experiencing them.
    Try looking at your fantasies like a film producer making a movie of them happening — see all the ups and downs of the process. Harrold suggests visualising your fantasies last thing at night and first thing in the morning when your mind is in its most receptive alpha-wave state. 'It's like hypnotising yourself,' she says. `Do it every day. One of my clients, a high-flying management consultant who saw herself as bumbling and indecisive in meetings, spent a week imagining herself as poised and in control. The following Monday she led her meeting and was flawless.'
    But whatever it is you're dreaming about, the key is to believe. `If your fantasy is exciting, it's too good to leave it up there in the ether,' says Harrold. 'Have a look at it and then have a go, take a risk. And believe it's possible — people make their dreams come true all the time.' D